Let me start by wishing the real fathers a Happy Fathers Day!
Now on to the business at hand…
As my title says I’m going to get real here. Going to share an opinion I’ve seen a lot of opposition to.
First, this will not be a poem as I do not want to skate around the real issue with fancy rhyming words, so if that’s what you wanted to read sorry not this time.
Second, this is a touchy subject, if you are easily offended do not read on please.
Finally, I’m going to get real…
As I woke up this morning, I promised myself I would be upbeat and positive today. I wished both my grandfathers, as well as my dad, and my sons god father a happy fathers day. I started my day on a good note.
That was until I spent two minutes on facebook. Social media made me struggle to keep my promise. I have enjoyed my day despite my true feelings.
But tonight I found more facebook posts directed towards single mothers and how we are not our children’s fathers.
First let me clear this up, I’m not talking about single mothers who get to ship the kids off to dad or dads mom or someone else on dads side. I’m not talking about the mom who gets financial support from the dad. I’m not talking about the mom who’s children’s dad calls them on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis.
I’m also not talking to the mom who has a male figure helping her take care of her children even if the father is absent.
I am talking about the mom who really is doing EVERYTHING! The one who gets no support mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, or any other way from the counterpart of making the child.
I have seen posts from how arrogant and egotisical these women are, to being bitter, to saying sit down, know your role, to better not see women wishing themself a happy fathers day.
It all comes down to this, I am mother and father. I am both nurturer and disciplinarian. I will teach him about girls and sex and how to throw a ball. I will teach him to respect women. I will teach him to stand up for himself. I will teach him to clean the yard, mow the lawn and fix the car. The list goes on..
I will surround my son with strong positive male role models because being a man is acquired through being surrounded by men, not necessarily taught by the ‘father’.
Now I ask my readers what is it, gender aside that separates me from being my child’s father? What is there that I cannot teach him? What can I not do for him?
Finally, I will say this: Do I wish myself a happy mothers day on mothers day? No, so why would I wish myself a happy fathers day if I consider myself a father on fathers day? I wouldn’t. But I’m not opposed to others wishing me a happy fathers day. It is an acknowledgement I feel real single mothers do deserve.
So to all my single moms truly doing it on there own: Happy Father’s Day!
- Lets not forget our Single Mothers…Happy Father’s day (trueyarnz.wordpress.com)
- To a single mother on Father’s Day (blogs.timesofisrael.com)